Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Dumped Bridesmaid Opens Up About Wedding

So, you might remember a little while back, I wrote a catty blog about being unceremoniously dumped as the bridesmaid from my sister-in-laws wedding.  If you don't then scroll back a bit and have a read... I'll wait.

Oooooooooo I hear you gasp - dumped as bridesmaid by your sister-in-law. Yes. Yes I was... I mentioned that all expenses had been spared at the bride and grooms request - I assumed the day would be a disaster, so I will have to gobble up my words now.

The wedding was a whole heap of fun - everyone enjoyed themselves, including me, the dumped bridesmaid.

I wrote that the venue was a pub, which I had not frequented before the big day.  When I thought of a pub (insert grog shop) as a venue for a wedding I nearly choked - skanky, smelly, dark and dank.  However, I got it wrong, so wrong.  The venue is not known as a pub... it is a "tavern" and while that doesn't really invoke glorious wedding images in my mind, it is a slight step up from, awh we got married at the pub, mate! (Don’t forget your ocker accent with that, it’ll make more sense).  It was a beautiful sunny day and the tavern was light and airy with rolling green lawns and clean toilets.  The public bar was still open for punters and while we could see each other across the bar, none attempted to crash our party - pleasantries and jovial ardour were exchanged.

The bride with her daughters as flowergirls arrived on time to be met by her groom on the tavern verandah.  All guests, including myself stood or were seated on the lawn.  Several family members in hushed tones asked me if I was supposed to be the bridesmaid, I am sure I rolled my eyes and whispered the short version of the story - I was fired.  I didn't want to be disrespectful to the bride on her big day after all.  But I do have to dispense some bitchiness now.  All through the ceremony the bride’s dress straps kept falling down - it was driving me bananas, surely it was driving her, her groom and the celebrant bananas too - it was such a distraction.  If I had been bridesmaid... well you know what I am going to say.  Otherwise the bride looked nice... in her forty dollar dress with her fake flowers.   I'm just dark I didn't get to wear my "special" forty dollar dress - not.

After the ceremony we all lined up for photos in a somewhat organised fashion.  I was standing in my place and happened to look down and noticed the youngest flowergirl didn't have any shoes on.  Now, I guess like the straps, no shoes was not going to be the end of the world.  But from my own experience with wedding photos you pay a crap load for - I wish someone had told my niece in the front row on my wedding day to close her legs so that her orange knickers weren't showing.  So I piped up and highlighted the fact that the youngest flowergirl was sans shoes... I was quickly put in my place.  However during the next break I quickly put her shoes on and adjusted wonky hairclips.  Even if the bride doesn't notice in the photos - I will know that I put those shoes back on!  Pat on the back for me.

The cocktail food was tasty and plentiful and seemed to keep coming out all afternoon.  There were two wedding cakes - a serious, fruit cake number with the standard wedding caking white icing and a hunk of chocolate cake with no icing... who in their right mind doesn't like icing on chocolate cake?  The bride that's who... They almost forgot to cut the cake, and by the time they got around to cutting it, it was late in the proceedings when everyone was too inebriated to care.  If I had been bridesmaid... well you know what I am going to say... luckily I was there with my camera to take some photos instead!

The beer and wine was free flowing so pretty much everyone was happy.  I was designated driver, but I too was happy.  Late in the afternoon, after I had been ready to leave for about two hours give or take, my husband decided he would use his cousins spare football tickets and take his other cousins boyfriend to the footy.  I could have left two hours earlier - but still I was happy.

I think it must have been a combination of events that left me happy on the day - the weather, the food, the venue, being surrounded my husband’s fantastic, social and supportive family, and not being bridesmaid.  Perhaps it was much deeper than this... perhaps I was truly happy that my husband’s sister was happy with her lot on her big day.  If I had of been her bridesmaid, this would have been my task - to make sure she was happy, comfortable and organised on her day.  And blow me down, she proved herself truly capable of organising things for herself, just the way she wanted them.  Well done!
She really didn't need a bridesmaid.

I saw my sister-in-law on the weekend and I started to internally cringe a bit, but she put an immediate stop to that, giving me my usual peck on the cheek and then coming to sit next to me.  Clearly she is not into grudges.  I've learnt a couple of lessons from all of this and that is, do not accept any role right away, just to seem polite and cheap wedding are just as much fun as expensive one - just without all the expense!


  1. Still, is that a Swan Beer mirror on the wall behind you??? If so, it certainly goes with - what is that - a tattoo on the bride's arm?? Looks like it was a fantastic day and glad to read that you had a good time and there are no hard-feelings left over.

  2. Haha, how observant you are! Oh and homemade tattoo "art" at that!


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